Day two and I rant. Of course, I'm not even sure what to rant about, exactly. I'm tempted for writersblock, but that's not it. It's more writer-malaise. What are some methods for conquering this little ankle-biter? I just have this feeling that if I open up the script it won't be truthful, it'll just end in me ending the show with the homeless man coming in a few moments earlier, filling the entire cast with lead, picking up a guitar and leaving.
I'm trying music, which usually works, but it's sending me into sunshine-puppy land. I can't find that neutral I seek where I see clearly what needs to be done. I'm trying the same playlist I used the night I wrote these 25 pages. (Lots of Pink Floyd, Rolling Stones, acoustic stuff, etc. The Commodores made it in there, too...) The words didn't click so hot, but the feel did, I think, giving this set of songs another shot. Maybe this will go better with all of my lobes in working order.
Chyannnnyway. Back to the grind.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Monday, January 26, 2009
Opening
Good morning, Vietnam.
Here we have the first of what will be many bloggings. It seems I've dropped the ball thus far, but I plan on remedying that post haste. To begin with, let me apologize once again for wasting such a large portion of class on Thursday. I can assure all those concerned that it shain't happen again. Beyond that, many thanks for all of the help in getting my script back on track. Back in the vecinity of some semblence of two parallel strips of metal, for that matter. Sad to say, that was a damn sight better than the first slight against God my brain pumped out.
As an small inventory, here are a few of the things I'll be keeping in mind as I rework the piece.
-Something drastic needs to change with Ando's death.
---Roland calls the cops
---It is cut
---It's not Roland who comes back
---Give Roland a monologue in the radio station as a summation of the events.
-----Roland describes the most likely course of events while Ando makes the motions.
-Kat's character <--What?
---I was tempted to give her a parallel story to the Ando/Ruby relationship, but it seemed a bit too predictable. I think it's important that the Roland/Kat situation stay plutonic, if only to make the Ruby/Ando betrayal sting more. Even a hint, I think, that a romance between them would deminish the impact of their lovers' drunken accident. At the same time, I think that stregnthening the Ando/Ruby cheating-plot wouldn't be going amiss in the slightest.
---Something I was shooting for with Kat was that friend who is more of a space-case and doesn't handle the a stressful situation overly well. Just an electron bouncing around constantly without discernable rhyme or reason. Perhaps I was off in my decision, since it appears that this either went over heads, you had to be in my head, or I completely missed the mark. (That latter option's looking pretty good, right?) Her arc was supposed to come full circle in the end scene when she stands up for Ando's memory. This probably either needs to be flushed out more or dropped entirely. I understand that this is Ando's story from Roland's mouth, but I don't want that "And here's how Roland grew" tale. It wouldn't be true. If a member of a close-knit group passes, it's only logical that everyone be changed.
-The opening scene: wtf? (This flows into me blathering on about writing and my "art")
---I think it's perfectly clear that a lot of my effing up could be tuned up here. I'll need to make the relationships a hundred times clearer than what they are right now. Beyond that, I'll justify more and do a good deal of cutting. One of the notes Jess gave me is similar to one I was given last semester for "Come Around" and that is, "They are really well spoken--too well spoken-- it seems for band bums." (I'm not trying to take a stab at Jess, in fact, I probably owe the most thanks to her for the input.) However, when I write, I don't like to write down. I think it's not only insulting to me (I learned me some big words, n' I want to scribble them on things) but insulting to anyone reading/watching my work. (wow, that's not pompous... not a jot.) I guess it's a mix of me writing the pattern in which I think and writing the world the way I'd like it to be. (The more I write the more snobbish I sound.) I'll also take this moment to mention that I know my english isn't spot on and I'm sure there're more than a few spelling and grammatical errors in this post alone, but I do what I can. At the same time, I write to make myself laugh not only with lines but also structure, rhythm and the like. I'll admit it, sometimes while writing I get that smirk George Bush gets when he says something right. You know, just that little chuckle that says "Boom Baby. I did it good. Well. Damn, there it goes." Mayhap this is where I've crossed paths with another issue. Directing Vs. Writing. I dove into this project looking to direct it, and that may be why it reads so poorly; I know that this will be bouncing around in my head and I don't need to note all the details because it'll be me filling them in later. This is what many, including myself, would call a big bout of stupid. It's definitely something to work on.
Anyway, I think I've gone on enough for right now... I assure you though, much more is churning in my upstairs brain-meats.
Here we have the first of what will be many bloggings. It seems I've dropped the ball thus far, but I plan on remedying that post haste. To begin with, let me apologize once again for wasting such a large portion of class on Thursday. I can assure all those concerned that it shain't happen again. Beyond that, many thanks for all of the help in getting my script back on track. Back in the vecinity of some semblence of two parallel strips of metal, for that matter. Sad to say, that was a damn sight better than the first slight against God my brain pumped out.
As an small inventory, here are a few of the things I'll be keeping in mind as I rework the piece.
-Something drastic needs to change with Ando's death.
---Roland calls the cops
---It is cut
---It's not Roland who comes back
---Give Roland a monologue in the radio station as a summation of the events.
-----Roland describes the most likely course of events while Ando makes the motions.
-Kat's character <--What?
---I was tempted to give her a parallel story to the Ando/Ruby relationship, but it seemed a bit too predictable. I think it's important that the Roland/Kat situation stay plutonic, if only to make the Ruby/Ando betrayal sting more. Even a hint, I think, that a romance between them would deminish the impact of their lovers' drunken accident. At the same time, I think that stregnthening the Ando/Ruby cheating-plot wouldn't be going amiss in the slightest.
---Something I was shooting for with Kat was that friend who is more of a space-case and doesn't handle the a stressful situation overly well. Just an electron bouncing around constantly without discernable rhyme or reason. Perhaps I was off in my decision, since it appears that this either went over heads, you had to be in my head, or I completely missed the mark. (That latter option's looking pretty good, right?) Her arc was supposed to come full circle in the end scene when she stands up for Ando's memory. This probably either needs to be flushed out more or dropped entirely. I understand that this is Ando's story from Roland's mouth, but I don't want that "And here's how Roland grew" tale. It wouldn't be true. If a member of a close-knit group passes, it's only logical that everyone be changed.
-The opening scene: wtf? (This flows into me blathering on about writing and my "art")
---I think it's perfectly clear that a lot of my effing up could be tuned up here. I'll need to make the relationships a hundred times clearer than what they are right now. Beyond that, I'll justify more and do a good deal of cutting. One of the notes Jess gave me is similar to one I was given last semester for "Come Around" and that is, "They are really well spoken--too well spoken-- it seems for band bums." (I'm not trying to take a stab at Jess, in fact, I probably owe the most thanks to her for the input.) However, when I write, I don't like to write down. I think it's not only insulting to me (I learned me some big words, n' I want to scribble them on things) but insulting to anyone reading/watching my work. (wow, that's not pompous... not a jot.) I guess it's a mix of me writing the pattern in which I think and writing the world the way I'd like it to be. (The more I write the more snobbish I sound.) I'll also take this moment to mention that I know my english isn't spot on and I'm sure there're more than a few spelling and grammatical errors in this post alone, but I do what I can. At the same time, I write to make myself laugh not only with lines but also structure, rhythm and the like. I'll admit it, sometimes while writing I get that smirk George Bush gets when he says something right. You know, just that little chuckle that says "Boom Baby. I did it good. Well. Damn, there it goes." Mayhap this is where I've crossed paths with another issue. Directing Vs. Writing. I dove into this project looking to direct it, and that may be why it reads so poorly; I know that this will be bouncing around in my head and I don't need to note all the details because it'll be me filling them in later. This is what many, including myself, would call a big bout of stupid. It's definitely something to work on.
Anyway, I think I've gone on enough for right now... I assure you though, much more is churning in my upstairs brain-meats.
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